Alcohol

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

“The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.”

“War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”– William Faulkner

“Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.” -John Fletcher

“Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.”― Jerry Vale

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields

“Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.”

“I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.”– Brendan Behan

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” – Lord Byron

“I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”– Ernest Hemingway

“I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year’s eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.”

“The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.”

“A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.”– Frank Lloyd Wright

“I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.”

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” ― George F. Burns

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

“Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!”

“Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.”

“Beer doesn’t have many vitamins. That’s why you need to drink lots of it.”

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”– Kaiser Wilhelm

“No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.”– John Churchill

“How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.”

“If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.”—David Daye

“People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.”– Capital Brewery

“I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.”

“In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.”

“There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.”

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”– Jack Handy

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

“Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”– Rumi

“Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.”

“Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.”– F. Scott Fitzgerald

“I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.”

“Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” -Pope John XXIII

“I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately, my problems are damn good swimmers.”

“A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.”– Louis Pasteur

“This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.”– Samuel Johnson

“Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”– Joan Collins

“Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”– Steve Martin

“I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.”

“If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton, this way my friends will know I am missing.”