Books

Apparently, reading during lunch and ignoring others is considered “rude”.

Anyone who has time to clean is not reading nearly enough.

I’m not addicted to reading. I can stop as soon as I finish the next chapter.

Bookworm problem: Laughing out loud while reading a book in a public place and getting funny looks from other people.

Losing your bookmark on your sheets while reading in bed.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Sometimes you just need to lay on the couch and read for a couple of years.

When a character does something really stupid or embarrassing, I have to close the book and breathe for a second because I can feel their embarrassment.

That moment at 3am when you whisper to yourself, “I need to stop…” as you turn the page.

I do not want to just read books; I want to climb inside them and live there.

If you’re going to binge, literature is definitely the way to do it.

When you’re halfway through a book and come to a plot twist at 1am… I don’t need sleep! I need answers!

People who say that I’m hard to shop for must not know where to buy books.

Friend: Are you finished with this book?

Me: Physically? Yes.
Me: Emotionally? Stares into distances Never…

That major sleep disorder you have called “Reading”.

Just in case things get boring, I’m bringing a book.

I was the kid who got in trouble for reading past her bedtime and for reading when the teacher was talking.

If my book is open, your mouth should be closed.

My problem with reading books is that I get distracted… by other books.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be reading. Please don’t need me.

I enjoy long, romantic walks through the bookstore…

When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down on you.

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. – P.J. O’Rourke

If good books did good, the world would have been converted long ago. – George Moore

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. – Woody Allen

One trouble with developing speed reading skills is that by the time you realize a book is boring you’ve already finished it. – Franklin P. Jones

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two. – George Burns

There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. – Joseph Brodsky

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me. – Anatole France

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author. – Robert Benchley

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. – Frank Zappa

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading contest. I hit a bookmark. – Stephen Wright

Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of its dead friends in your hand. – Kyle Lippert @Kyle_Lippert

My wife joined a book club. They primarily read wine labels. – Unknown Author

That “…for Dummies” publisher rejected my ventriloquism book. – Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity. – Germaine Greer

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

I heard that Amazon has started a program to try to get people to trade in their old bound books to get an electronic reader. They call it “Kindling.” – Kate Deimling

Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers. – Harry S Truman

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad. – George Bernard Shaw

People can lose their lives in libraries. They ought to be warned. – Saul Bellow

One advantage reading books has over TV is you can’t read books and do housework at the same time. – Melanie White

I’ve often thought of writing my autobiography and selling it as a cure for insomnia. – Melanie White

My wife doesn’t watch soap operas. She’s too busy reading romance novels. – Melanie White

As a pioneer in free ebooks more than ten years ago, I feel like I have to keep up, hence my announcement today that to go with the new Kindle Zero, the free edition of my new book comes with a new Buick LeSabre or a large fig newton, your choice. While supplies last, one per customer. – Seth Godin

No one ever shouts in a bookstore. – Lillian Jackson Braun

It is clear that the books owned the shop rather than the other way about. Everywhere they had run wild and taken possession of their habitat, breeding and multiplying, and clearly lacking any strong hand to keep them down. – Agatha Christie

When I visit a new bookstore, I demand cleanliness, computer monitors, and rigorous alphabetization. When I visit a secondhand bookstore, I prefer indifferent housekeeping, sleeping cats, and sufficient organizational chaos. – Anne Fadiman

What do I miss? Second-hand bookshops where I can find things I had no idea I wanted. – David Mitchell

I have gone to [this bookshop] for years, always finding the one book I wanted – and then three more I hadn’t known I wanted. – Mary Ann Shaffer