If any of you cry at my funeral, I’ll never speak to you again! Stan Laurel

Funerals are the rituals we create to help us face the reality of death, to give us a way of expressing our response to that reality with other persons, and to protect us from the full impact of the meaning of death for ourselves. Some funerals fulfill these functions beautifully. Others fail. Alla Bozarth Campbell

If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death, since it comes from the hand of the same master. Michelangelo

We know you’d be with us today if heaven wasn’t so far away. Unknown

Say not in grief: “He is no more”, but live in thankfulness that he was. Hebrew Proverb

Let no one weep for me or celebrate my funeral with mourning, for I still live as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men. Quintus Ennius

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. William Penn

Funerals aren’t for the dead. They’re for the living. Gavin Extence

I can’t think of a more wonderful thanksgiving for the life I have had than that everyone should be jolly at my funeral. Lord Mountbatten

Some people never head a procession until they’re dead. Unknown

Funerals are pretty compared to death. Funerals are quiet, but deaths not always. Tennessee Williams

A funeral is no place for secrets. Mitch Albom

A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. Ambrose Bierce

The only reason I might go to the funeral is to make absolutely sure that he’s dead. Unknown

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in. Irvin S. Cobb

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. Unknown

It is not length of life, but depth of life. Emerson Ralph Waldo

Funerals seem less about comforting the souls of these dearly departed than about comforting the people they leave behind. Rin Chupeco

When we lose someone we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. Maurice Maeterlinck

When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. When you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. Buddhist Saying

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. J Taylor

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on… Irving Berlin

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country, it is a form of entertainment. George Ade

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. Harriet Beecher Stowe

Nowadays, the only occasions that seem to bring families together are weddings and funerals. Julia Mcnamara

Visit me before I die. We can enjoy one another’s company. A funeral is a rather one-sided affair. Ralph Webster

And a funeral, I found out, is like a wedding in reverse, with less time to plan. J. Lincoln Fenn

It’s better to be last in the traffic lane than first in the funeral procession. Unknown

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. Norman Cousins

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other’s funeral. Kehlog Albran

A man is not completely born until he is dead. Benjamin Franklin

After a funeral, a feast. W. G. Benham

Some people don’t attend funerals not because they don’t want to but they are not emotionally strong to see anybody GO. Neeraj Bhanot

“Death is too negative for me. So I’ll be popping off for a long cup of tea, Do splash out on two bags in the pot. And for my god’s sake, keep the water hot.” — Michael Ashby

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.” — Garrison Keillor

“Everybody can’t talk at the funeral!” — Shuler King

“Good funeral directors can maintain their calm through almost anything, but when some bro walks into a funeral with earbuds blaring, I immediately start my breathing meditation.” — Caleb Wilde

“There wasn’t an anhydrous lacrimal gland in the house.” — Unknown (via Mary Roach)

“Some people develop frown lines. Others have smile lines. Funeral directors develop clearly defined WTF lines.” — Caleb Wilde

“Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can’t come.” — Jeff Goldblum

“You know what they always say: you can’t spell ‘funeral’ without ‘fun.’” — Unknown

“I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.” — Jonathan Katz

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night. Antoine de Saint-Exupery The Little Prince

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die. Amelia Burr

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. Albert Einstein

The heart hath its own memory, like the mind. And in it are enshrined the precious keepsakes, into which is wrought the giver’s loving thought. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. Thomas Campbell

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. Eskimo Proverb

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.
Bessie Stanley

Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. Rossiter W. Raymond

If I am to wear this mourning cloak, let it be made of the fabric of love, woven by the fine thread of memory. Molly Fumia Safe Passage

Remembering is an act of resurrection, each repetition a vital layer of mourning, in memory of those we are sure to meet again. Nancy Cobb, In Lieu of Flowers

When thou art above measure angry, bethink how momentary is man’s life. Marcus Aurelius

There is no such thing as death. In nature nothing dies. From each sad remnant of decay some forms of life arise. Charles Mackay

God’s finger touched him, and he slept. Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. Samuel Johnson

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. George Santayana

People living deeply have no fear of death. Anais Nin

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Wisdom of the Sands

What good can come from meeting death with tears? If a man is sorry for himself, he doubles death. Euripedes

There was a time when we were not: this gives us no concern – why then should it trouble us that a time will come when we shall cease to be? William Hazlitt

Though it is in the power of the weakest arm to take away life, it is not in the strongest to deprive us of death. Sir Thomas Browne

To die completely, a person must not only forget but be forgotten, and he who is not forgotten is not dead.
Samuel Butler

Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our fill of fruit, our swelter of heat, we said that we have had our day. Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we lose someone we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. Maurice Maeterlinck

I knew a man who once said, “death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.” From the movie Gladiator, Spoken by character Maximus, played by Russell Crowe

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. Helen Keller

He who doesn’t fear death dies only once. Giovanni Falcone

Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus

And they die an equal death – the idler and the man of mighty deeds. Homer, The Iliad

Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That signifies nothing. For us believing physicists the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. Albert Einstein

Life and death are balanced on the edge of a razor. Homer, The Iliad

When I die I shall be content to vanish into nothingness…. No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever…. I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it. H.L. Mencken

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. Henry Van Dyke

Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody. J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind? Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. Leonardo Da Vinci

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death. Leonardo da Vinci

We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love. Madame de Stael

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. Norman Cousins

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge — myth is more potent than history — dreams are more powerful than facts — hope always triumphs over experience — laughter is the cure for grief — love is stronger than death. Robert Fulghum

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. Seneca

The goal of all life is death. Sigmund Freud

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. Socrates

God made death so we’d know when to stop. Steven Stiles

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist. Stewart Alsop

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham

I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived. Willa Cather

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. William Penn