Life

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”Douglas Adams

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”Elbert Hubbard

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’”Hunter S. Thompson

“I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.”Arthur C. Clarke

“Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead.”Tom Stoppard

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”Stephen Hawking

“Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer books.”Julian Barnes

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”Robert Frost

“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.”Jasper Fforde

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”Woody Allen

“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.”Terry Pratchett

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”Robert Benchley

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”Albert Einstein

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”Allen Saunders

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”Mark Twain

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”Dave Barry

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.”Terry Pratchett

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”Cathy Guisewite

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”J.M. Barrie

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”Woody Allen

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”Albert Einstein

“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there”George Harrison

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”Terry Pratchett

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”Bill Watterson

“The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.”Bill Maher

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”Mark Twain

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, ‘You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.”Douglas Adams

“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”Steven Wright

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”George Carlin

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”Mindy Kaling

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”William Goldman

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”Isaac Asimov

“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it”Fernando Pessoa

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.”Woody Allen

“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.”Christopher Hitchens

“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”Charles Bukowski

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colin’. Need I say more?”Chris Rock

“When I was your age, television was called books.”William Goldman

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”Chuck Palahniuk

“Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn’t.”Nick Hornby

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”Douglas Adams

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”Dorothy Parker

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”Woody Allen

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”Albert Einstein

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”Rodney Dangerfield

“To get back my youth, I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”Oscar Wilde

“I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”Terry Pratchett

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”Blaise Pascal

“Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!”Hergé