Money

“Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort” – Helen Gurley Brown

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons” – Woody Allen

“Money is not the most important thing in the world love fortunately, I love money” – Jackie Mason

“Money is the opposite of the weather body talks about it, but everybody does something about it” – Rebecca Johnson

“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket” – Kin Hubbard

“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money” – Robin Williams

“Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score real excitement is playing the game” – Donald Trump

“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money” – IRS auditor

“Dogs have no money isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire livesBut they get though you know why dogs have no money? No Pockets” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Money is the best deodorant” – Elizabeth Taylor

“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days” – Anonymous

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination” – Oscar Wilde

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America I’m not there, I go to work” – Robert Orben

“Money often costs too much” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail” – Richard Friedman

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments” – Earl Wilson

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due ~Author Unknown

No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back ~Quoted in PSI Love You, compiled by Jackson Brown, Jr

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair ~Sam Ewing

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence ~Max Amsterdam

Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back ~Author Unknown

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it ~Author Unknown

I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves ~Joe Louis

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like” – Will Smith

Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions ~AALatimer

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells ~JPaul Getty

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind ~Kay Ingram

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer ~Author Unknown

Money often costs too much ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste ~MWHarrison

I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention ~Ron Kittle, 1987

It frees you from doing things you disliked since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy ~Groucho Marx

I am having an out of money experience ~Author Unknown

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning ~Aristotle Onassis

Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale ~Zig Ziglar

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage ~Doug Larson

If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one ~George Gobel

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way ~Mark Twain

If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion ~George Bernard Shaw

Intoxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with ~From a Washington Post word contest

We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules ~Buzzie Bavasi

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann

“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street

“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing

“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface

“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street

“The rich. You know why they’re so odd? Because they can afford to be.” –Alexander Knox (Robert Wuhl)Batman

“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street