Television

We deal with all varieties of information. Somebody’s always upset no matter what we do. We have to make a decision; otherwise, there’s a never-ending debate.

Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf.

Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

There are now more TV’s in British households than there are people – which is a bit of a worry.

Television is the triumph of machines over people.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

All (TV) shows are like cigarettes. You watch two, you have a higher chance of watching three. They’re all addictive.

Time has convinced me of one thing. Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. At the end of the show they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Goodbye.”

Remote controls are quite handy. They let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster.
Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.

Baseball hasn’t been the national pastime for many years now – no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.

I remember watching television when I was younger, and I felt like there were things TV tackled first, and then it would happen to me in real life, and I felt prepared.

Reality TV is set up to make people entertaining. A good person with values and principles is not good television.

I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? I need a girlfriend.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

Chilling out on the bed in your hotel room watching television, while wearing your own pajamas, is sometimes the best part of a vacation.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Today, watching television often means fighting, violence and foul language – and that’s just deciding who gets to hold the remote control.

I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult Dr. Sun more.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn’t educate America if they started at 6:30.

Television keeps the masses occupied. What if everyone decided they wanted to make something of their lives? Television keeps the competition down and keeps more criminals off the street. What if everyone decided to go to law school or medical school? It would sure make it tough on the rest of us.

Television – the drug of the nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation…

A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It’s a great, very smart way to make television. It’s worked for however long TV’s been around.

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

Television is an anesthetic for the pain of the modern world.

Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence.

Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.

If TV were only an invention to broadcast soccer, it would be justified.

I think it’s brought the world a lot closer together, and will continue to do that. There are downsides to everything; there are unintended consequences to everything. The most corrosive piece of technology that I’ve ever seen is called television – but then, again, television, at its best, is magnificent.

Television has raised writing to a new low.

TV will never be a serious competitor for radio because people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn’t time for it.

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

It’s the menace that everyone loves to hate but can’t seem to live without.

Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.

When television is good, nothing is better. When it’s bad, nothing is worse.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.

When you’re young, you look at television and think, there’s a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want.

Television is simply automated day-dreaming.

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.

Seeing a murder on television… can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object. Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish.

I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.