Women

Communication Through Females Is Still Much Faster Than Emails!

Scientists Have Discovered How To Use Female Tongues To Produce Electricity! Wow, Silence And Electricity Both Obtained Simultaneously!

Where Would Men Be Without Women? Back In The Garden Of Eden.

Just Called The Police On My Girlfriend. She Hasn’t Committed A Crime, I Just Want Them To Come And Remind Her She Has The Right To Remain Silent.

The Fastest-growing Communication Is Tell-a-woman.

The Reason Women Don’t Play Football Is Because 11 Of Them Would Never Wear The Same Outfit In Public.

Fastest Ways Of Communication, Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

What I Don’t Understand Is How Women Can Pour Hot Wax On Their Bodies, Let It Dry, Then Rip Out Every Single Hair By Its Root And Still Be Scared Of Spiders

I Think The Inventor Of The Mirror Is A Man Who Was Tired Of Always Being Asked How I Look By His Wife.

I Never Knew What Hard Work Was Until I Tried To Please A Woman.

I Don’t Think Women Are Better Than Men, But I Do Think That Men Are Worse Than Women.

Getting In An Argument With A Woman Is Like Being Arrested, Because Anything You Say Can And Will Be Used Against You.

Only A Woman Can Make You Feel Wrong For Doing Something Right.

You Cannot Win In A Fight Against Women, Cause Men Have A Need To Make Sense.

Women Are Like Volcanoes. Both Stay Calm For Extended Periods Of Time Before Exploding And Killing Everything. Then, There’s Calm Again.

I’ll Never Understand Why Once A Month, Women Go Completely Crazy For 30 Days.

You Can Tell A Lot About A Woman By Her Hands. For Instance, If They’re Placed Around Your Throat She’s Probably Slightly Upset.

When A Woman Says “Do Whatever You Want” Do Not Do Whatever You Want.

I Desperately Want To Go Camping This Summer. Preferably In A Hotel. With A Pool And A Spa.

A Woman Has Only 2 Problems. 1. Nothing To Wear. 2. No Room For All The Clothes.

Of Course Women Don’t Look As Busy As Men. We Do It Right The First Time!!!

When A Woman Says “What?”, It’s Not Because She Didn’t Hear You. She’s Giving You A Chance To Change What You Said.

You Tell A Man Something, It Goes In One Ear And Out The Other. Tell A Woman Something, It Goes In Both Ears And Comes Out Through The Mouth.

A Smart Statement Written Outside A Women’s Shoe Shop: 75% Discount If You Select In 5 Minutes. 🙂

Q: How To Turn A Fox Into An Elephant?
A: Marry Her.

I Don’t Need An Encyclopedia, My Wife Knows Everything.

99% Of All Women Are Beautiful. The Remaining 1% Is In My Office.

Don’t Condone Wife Beating, But I Understand It!

Women Speak Two Languages. One Of Which Is Verbal.

What Do Women And Tornadoes Have In Common? They Both Moan When They Come And They Take The House When They Leave.

“Women” – They Have A Way Of Complicating Things.

The Male Body Has Seven Trillion Nerves And Only A Woman Knows “How To Get On Every Single One Of Them?”

A Wise Man Once Said “I Don’t Know, Ask A Girl.”

Men Are Nasty To Each Other And Don’t Mean It,
Women Are Nice To Each Other And Don’t Mean It!

I’m A Woman.. I’m Smart. I Never Lose An Argument. I Can Cook. I Like To Read Fashion Magazines. I Love To Be Right. Men Don’t Understand Us. We Must Have Secret Powers, Because I Don’t Understand Us, Either.

If For Some Reason I Doubt That I’m Wrong, All I Need To Do Is Ask A Woman For Verification.

When A Woman Has Nothing Left To Argue, She Will Either Ignore You, Cry Or Remember That Thing Until She Takes Revenge On That.

Here’s All You Have To Know About Men And Women: Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid. And The Main Reason Women Are Crazy Is That Men Are Stupid

Halloween Is For Dressing As Something You’re Not. That’s Why Most Girls Go As Sexy.

Women Are Suitable To Be Journalists, They Never Spend A Minute Quiet.

If Women Ran The World We Wouldn’t Have Wars, Just Intense Negotiations Every 28 Days. – Robin Williams

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus; Ex’s Are From Uranus.

Women Fake Orgasms And Men Fake Finances. – Suze Orman

Someday They’re Going To Call Me “M’am” Without Adding “You’re Making A Scene”.

Women Are Like Police, They Can Have All The Evidence In The World But They Still Want A Confession.

A Man Is Always Ready To Go, It’s A Woman That Says Whether Yes Or No!

Only Two Things Can Change A Woman’s Mind:

I Love You.
50 Percent Discount.

There Is No Doubt That All Women Are Crazy. It’s Just A Matter Of Degree.

A Jealous Woman Does Better Research Than The Fbi.

Women Are A Strange Breed. They Paint Their Lips;
Show Off Their Inner-wear; Flaunt Their Bodies;
Wear Butt-hugging Jeans;
And Then They Expect Men To Notice Their Emotions

She Was One Of Those Women Who Go Through Life Demanding To See The Manager.