Curated Collections

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.– Albert Einstein

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.– Oscar Wilde

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.– Peter Drucker

An intellectual solves a problem. A genius avoids it.– Albert Einstein

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.– Bill Cosby

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.– C. G. Jung

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.– Groucho Marx

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.– Ben Franklin

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.– Steven Wright

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.– Woody Allen

You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes” without having asked any clear question.– Albert Camus

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.– Kurt Vonnegut

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.– Mitch Hedberg

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.– Albert Einstein

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.– Winston Churchill

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.– Mark Twain

Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority believe you.

Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.– George Carlin

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.– Dorothy Parker

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, who’s responsible for this?– Jerry Seinfeld

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.– William Shakespeare

I may be drunk, but in the morning I’ll be sober and you’ll still be ugly.– Winston Churchill

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.– Elizabeth Taylor

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.– Flip Wilson

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.– Woody Allen

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.– Oscar Wilde

Mirror is my best friend, because when I cry it never laughs.– Charlie Chaplin

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?– Abraham Lincoln

People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.– Terry Pratchett

He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.– Billy Wilder

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.– George Carlin

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.– Bob Hope

I can resist anything but temptation.– Oscar Wilde

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”– Abraham Lincoln

“The only love that I really believe in is a mother’s love for her children.”– Karl Lagerfeld

“Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”– Maria Shriver

“Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.”– Marion C. Garretty

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”– Sophia Loren

“Mother’s love grows by giving.”– Charles Lamb

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”– Rudyard Kipling

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.”– Barbara Kingsolver

“And then I realized what the first word must have been: ma, the sound of a baby smacking its lips in search of her mother’s breast. For a long time, that was the only word the baby needed. Ma, ma, ma. Then the mother decided that was her name and she began to speak, too. She taught the baby to be careful: sky, fire, tiger. A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin.”– Amy Tan

“When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.”– Mitch Albom

“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.”

“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”

“Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it doesn’t mean a thing.”

“Kids don’t stay with you if you do it right. It’s the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won’t be needed in the long run.”

“Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.”

“Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.”

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”– Tenneva Jordan