We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.

Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.

I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.

Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Best friend: the one that you can mad only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.

I hope we’re friends until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.

Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

Sometimes I think, ‘What is a friend?’ Then I say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.

A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.

I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

Friends offer free therapy.

We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

It this the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.

I and my best friends can communicate with just facial expressions.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’

I think we’ll befriend forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.

We will always be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we will be new friends.

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.

God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters

Never let your friends be lonely…. Disturb them all the time.

You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.

Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.

Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.

There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.

We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane. – Matt Schucker

Friendship is not a big thing, it’s a million little things.

Friends are our chosen family.

Friendship is not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel a warm feeling inside.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you. – Rita Mae Brown

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. … I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don’t get it.

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.

A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.

I don’t like to commit myself to heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.

Good times and crazy friends make the best memories.

Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with. – Robert Brault

You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one! – C.S. Lewis