“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” ―Oscar Wilde

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” ―Maya Angelou

“You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.” ―Frank McCourt

“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.” ―Albert Einstein

“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.”―Walter Cronkite

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” ―Albert Einstein

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” ―Harlan Ellison

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.” ― Nelson Mandela

“It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.”― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions–as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.”― Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is one thing to be clever and another to be wise.” ― George R.R. Martin

“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.”― Carl Gustav Jung

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”― J. Krishnamurti

“I not only use all the brains that I have, but all I can borrow.”― Woodrow Wilson

“Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.”― Marie Curie

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”― P.G. Wodehouse

“Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.”― Zig Ziglar

“The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.”― Terry Pratchett

“I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.”― Antonio Gramsci

“I don’t know what good it is to know so much and be smart as whips and all if it doesn’t make you happy.”― J.D. Salinger

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.”― Walter H. Cottingham

“Education is no substitute for intelligence.”― Frank Herbert

“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn’t understood.”― Wei Hui

Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

You have two parts of brain, ‘left’ and ‘right’. In the left side, there’s nothing right. In the right side, there’s nothing left.

Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.

My IQ came back negative.

We just got a fax. At work. We didn’t know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.

If you were a triangle you’d be acute one.

A wise man once said… Nothing, he only listened.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful.

You’re sweeter than 3.14

I would love to insult you… but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence.

Are you the square root of -1? Because you can’t be real.

You have the nicest syntax I’ve ever seen.

Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

Books are just TV for smart people.

The human brain is one of the most complex objects in the universe. Is it any wonder that so many people never learn to use it.

Told my girlfriend that my mom is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Told my mom that my girlfriend is retarded…

Seek knowledge from cradle to the grave.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

Paying the internet $9.99 to take an IQ test is you failing the test.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

It’s not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME).

Why do shepherds never learn to count? Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.
My brain is not equipped with facial or name recognition technology.

He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.

The only reason I’ve been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill.