“To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We’re all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.”– Jerry Seinfeld

“The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the [person] of every calling, is diligence.”– Abraham Lincoln

“I busted a mirror and got 7 years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5.”– Stephen Wright

“When I’m sometimes asked when will there be enough women on the Supreme Court and I say, ‘When there are 9,’ people are shocked. But there’d been 9 men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.”– Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“Be sure to put your feet in the right place, and then stand firm.”– Abraham Lincoln

“You just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don’t you let ’em get your goat. Try fighting’ with your head for a change.”– Harper Lee

“A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a ‘brief.’”– Franz Kafka

“A lawyer without books would be like a workman without tools.”– Thomas Jefferson

“A jury consists of 12 persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”– Robert Frost

“My client may deserve serious punishment, but first prove that’s the case. And remember at all times that he’s a human being, which means he must be treated with minimum standards of decency because doing so redeems not only him but you.”– Scott Turow

“The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.”– Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.- Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

“The remedy for speech that is false is speech that is true. This is the ordinary course in a free society. The response to the unreasonable is the rational. To the uninformed, the enlightened. to the straight-out lie, the simple truth.”– Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”– H. L. Mencken

“The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything [s]he touches.”– Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

“The study of law can be disappointing at times, a matter of applying narrow rules and arcane procedure to an uncooperative reality; a sort of glorified accounting that serves to regulate the affairs of those who have power—and that all too often seeks to explain, to those who do not, the ultimate wisdom and justness of their condition. But that’s not all the law is. The law is also memory; the law also records a long-running conversation, a nation arguing with its conscience.”– Barack Obama

“Litigation is the basic legal right which guarantees every corporation its decade in court.”

“A lean compromise is better than a fat lawsuit.”

“There are more lawyers in just Washington, D.C. than in all of Japan. They’ve got about as many lawyers as we have sumo-wrestlers.”

“Every unfortunate event does not give rise to a lawsuit.”

“Where there is a will there is a lawsuit.”

“Avoid lawsuits beyond all things; they pervert your conscience, impair your health, and dissipate your property.”

“We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise.”

“Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.”

“Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?”

“The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens.”

“The only people who benefit from lawsuits are lawyers. I think we made a couple of them rich.”

“Lawyer: One who defends you at the risk of your pocketbook, reputation and life.” – Eugene E. Brussell, author of Webster’s New World Dictionary of Quotable Definitions

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.”

“This is what has to be remembered about the law; beneath that cold, harsh, impersonal exterior beats a cold, harsh, impersonal heart.” – David Frost, British Journalist, TV Personality

“I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called a law firm, and three or more become a Congress.”

“An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer.”

“A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.”

“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

“You won’t get sued for anticompetitive behavior.”

“Animals have these advantages over man: They have no theologians to instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.”

“Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.”

“Avoid lawsuits beyond all things; they pervert your conscience, impair your health, and dissipate your property.”

“A bad agreement is better than a good lawsuit.”

“I was never ruined but twice – once when I lost a lawsuit, once when I won one.”

“Ignorance of the law excuses no man — from practicing it.”

“A lawsuit is a fruit tree planted in a lawyer’s garden.”

Next to the confrontation between two highly honed batteries of lawyers, jungle warfare is a stately minuet.”

“Of course, people are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers instead of their conscience be their guides.”

“A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.” ~ Patrick Murray

“If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.” ~ Charles Dickens

“99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” ~ Steven Wright

“There are no funny lawyers – only funny people who made a career mistake.” ~ Robert J. White

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” ~ William Shakespeare

“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.” ~ Will Rogers

“Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

“Whoever tells the best story wins.” ~ John Quincy Adams