It’s so obvious The Weather Channel is a pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass. – Jim Gaffigan

Maybe it’s not global warming. Maybe it’s just planetary menopause. – Greg Tamblyn

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course. – Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

TV meteorologists: You can stop reporting the “dew point.” We don’t know what that is. – Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

Today is the official beginning of shorts weather in Canada and local ERs are swamped as thousands are admitted with temporary blindness. – Oblivia ‏@aveuaskew

The city is under siege. Sandy is pretty furious at Atlantic City. She must have lost a bet or something. – Thomas Foley, chief of emergency management in Atlantic City, on Hurricane Sandy

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that. – Andy Borowitz

At a restaurant, I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting. – Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy

The human brain is an evolutionary marvel. it starts working before you’re born and never stops until you try to learn some new software. – Greg Tamblyn

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn. – Dave Barry

The Web may be a technological marvel, but to most people who use it for work, it functions like an old-fashioned hamster wheel, except at Internet speed. – David Carr, NY Times

Before the Internet, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life. – Ashish Chauhan ‏@4shish

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel. – Fran Lebowitz

I just carved my initials into a tree, but only as a warning to other trees. – Bridger Winegar

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. – Kevin James

Screw camping. I don’t work 40 hours a week to go pretend I’m homeless during the weekend. -Mike Vanatta

Today I spent some time in nature. This may come as a surprise, but I’m sad to report that it’s mostly just rocks and trees. – Bridger Winegar ‏@bridger_w

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. – Lewis Mumford

The mountains are calling, and I must go.” ― John Muir

“From California to the New York Island, this land was made for you and me.” ― Woody Guthrie

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, rejoice, for your soul is alive.” ― Eleanora Duse

“Spring is nature’s way of saying ‘let’s party!’” ― Robin Williams

“The Sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” ― Jacques-Yves Cousteau

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery — air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, ‘This is what it is to be happy.’” ― Sylvia Plath

“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness in the proportion.” ― Edgar Allen Poe

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”― Margaret Atwood

“I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.” ― William Shakespeare

“The earth laughs in flowers.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“By discovering nature, you discover yourself.” — Maxime Lagacé

“It is good to realize that if love and peace can prevail on earth, and if we can teach our children to honor nature’s gifts, the joys and beauties of the outdoors will be here forever.” – Jimmy Carter

The love of wilderness is more than a hunger for what is always beyond reach.

“Nature contains that spirit and power which we can witness but not weigh, inwardly conceive but not comprehend, love but not limit, imagine, but neither define nor describe.” – T. E. Lawrence

“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Kahlil Gibran

“Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature.” – Gerard De Nerval

“I love being outdoors. I love listening to the crickets. I want to embrace nature.” – Miranda Kerr

“I’m an introvert. I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.” – Audrey Hepburn

“All those hours exploring the great outdoors made me more resilient and confident.” – David Suzuki

‘We made love outdoors, my favorite place to make love, assuming the weather be fair and balmy, and the earth beneath be clean. Our souls intertwined and dripping with sweat.” – Roman Payne

“We made love outdoors—without a roof, I like most, without a stove, my favorite place, assuming the weather be fair and balmy, and the earth beneath be clean. Our souls intertwined and dripping with dew, and our love for each other was seen. Our love for the world was new.” – Roman Payne

“Everything in Nature called destruction must be creation-a change from beauty to beauty.” – John Muir

“Some of us are drawn to mountains the way the moon draws the tide. Both the great forests and the mountains live in my bones. They have taught me, humbled me, purified me and changed me.” – Joan Halifax

It should be expected that we will find wonder in a vast mountain landscape, but it is a more serious challenge to find wonder on a hill. It is a great achievement to find it in a molehill.” – Tristan Gooley

It is also an expression of loyalty to the earth, the earth which bore us and sustains us, the only paradise we shall ever know, the only paradise we ever need, if only we had the eyes to see.” – Edward Abbey

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

The older I get, the more I appreciate my rural childhood. I spent a lot of time outdoors, unsupervised, which is a blessing.” – Barbara Kingsolver

“I was drinking in the surroundings: air so crisp you could snap it with your fingers and greens in every lush shade imaginable offset by autumnal flashes of red and yellow.” – Wendy Delsol

“I never knew I liked to be outside so much. I never knew I liked lochs and views and that, but I could seriously handle living in a cottage by the side of somewhere like this.” – Jenn Fagan

“You need to be outdoors. Away from here. You need a holiday.”

“I’m likely to stay here, pen in hand, until dusk comes and my writing melts into the twilight.” – Fennel Hudson