“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day after some years, it can boast of a long series of successes” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll to have to use the stairs, one step at a time” Joe Girard

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily” Zig Ziglar

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific” Lily Tomlin

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying” Oscar Wilde

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day” Winnie the Pooh

“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it” Tom Lehrer

“You can’t have everything, where would you put it?” Steven Wright

“Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito” Dalai Lama

“Bad decisions make good stories” Ellis Vidler

“I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess” Cassandra Duffy

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye” Cathy Guisewite

“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory” Mark Twain

“Well-behaved women seldom make history” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

“I didn’t fail the test, just found 100 ways to do it wrong” Benjamin Franklin

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure” Unknown

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end as today is already tomorrow in Australia” Charles Schulz

“Think like a proton, always positive” Unknown

“Be happy – it drives people crazy” Unknown

“Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha” Robert Brault

“The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me” Ayn Rand

“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott

“If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck” Elvis Presley

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces” Will Rogers

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want to be done because he wants to do it” Dwight D Eisenhower

“Live each day like it’s your second to the least. That way you can fall asleep at night” Jason Love

“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger” Franklin PJones

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party” Ron White

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” Thomas Eddison

“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure” Unknown

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get a warm feeling that it brings” Robert Bloch

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition” Marilyn Monroe

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be the boss and work twelve hours a day” Robert Frost

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it” Terry Pratchett

“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese” Billie Burke

“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water” Unknown

“Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet” Unknown

“The best things in life are actually really expensive” Unknown

“Every tattoo is temporary because we’re all slowly dying” Unknown

“A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction” Justin Sewell

“Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them” Unknown

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others” Ashleigh Brilliant

“If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space” Unknown

“The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts” Unknown

“Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else” Unknown