Work & Profession

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it” — Bill Gates

“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early” — Groucho Marx

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished” — Leslie Nielsen

“It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter” — John Gotti

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done” — Peter Drucker

“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you” — Dwight D. Eisenhower

People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do” — Elbert Hubbard

“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend than be one” — Clarence Darrow

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one” — Oscar Wilde

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit” — George Carlin

It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work” — William Faulkner

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen

“You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic” — Zig Ziglar

“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement” — Tom Goins

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours” — Jerome K Jerome

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen” — Sarah Brown

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock” — Claude McDonald

“The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse” — Dennis Miller

“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work” — Author Unknown

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work” – Robert Orben

“Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs” — Mary Kay Ash

“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday”​ –Anonymous

“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job​” –Unknown

“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form​” — Stanley J Randall

“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut”​ — Albert Einstein

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers​” — Homer Simpson

“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​ Kin Hubbard

“There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting​” — David Letterman

“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon” — Anonymous

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so” – Douglas Adams

“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished” – Groucho Marx

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office” — Robert Frost

“Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door” — Anonymous

“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it” – Joey Adams

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy” – Charlie McCarthy

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field” — Niels Bohr

“The reward for good work is more work” – Francesca Elisia

“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up”– Muhammad Ali

“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work” – Earl Nightingale

“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free” – Anonymous

“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck” – Anonymous

“A lot of fellows nowadays have a BA, MD, or PhD

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar” – Drew Carey

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” — Don Marquis

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — JPaul Getty

“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by four o’clock” — Henny Youngman

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure” — Mark Twain

“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because they had three snakes, and one day I braided them” – Steven Alexander Wright

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there” — Will Rogers

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous

“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job” — Zig Ziglar

“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time” — William CFeather

“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around” — Homer Simpson

“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination” — Ronald Reagan